What Words Have Hurt Your Confidence?
August 24th, 2009
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by admin · Filed Under: Hypnosis · Positive Thinking
I was sitting in my kitchen thinking about the client I had recently helped. They were able to remember a childhood trauma that was interfering with their ability to lose weight. They not only released the trauma from their subconscious, but I helped them release it from their body. This trauma had manifested in their stomach, like an ulcer.
As I was reminiscing, I started to shift through my childhood, and these Cliché’s popped into my mind. It takes one to know one, and Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me. At the time, I use to say these when someone would call me a name. It is not until now, that I understand the meaning behind these words.
Have you ever had someone judge or put a label on you? It usually starts with you are . . . stupid, lazy, selfish, mean, unkind, arrogant, conceited, a slob, and fat. The list can go on. As a child, I usually heard I was lazy, selfish and a fat pig. How about you? Stop and take a moment and write down what people said to you that hurt.
When I was a child, and other children would call me names, I learned how to say. . . It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.” At the time, I did not really know what it meant; it just felt good to shout it back. However, when I heard name calling from a parent, teacher or any authority figure, it was crushing and I believe that something was wrong with me. I wasn’t allowed to yell back It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.
As an adult, I now realized not only was it crushing; I accepted it as a truth. For years, I was afraid to ask for what I wanted for fear of being considered selfish. I have always thought I was a fat pig, even when I was healthy and at the correct weight. I would feel I was being judged as lazy if everything in my life was not neat and orderly.
How did I handle it? I would shut down, beat myself up, or lashed out. I frequently would “cut off my nose to spite my face.”
How did I overcome this?
First – I became aware of what triggered me. I started to pay attention to my reactions when I felt someone was judging me.
Second – I used hypnosis to get to the “core” of my issue, and release it.
Third – I realized that the only way someone could hurt me with words, is if I let them. If I let them, it meant deep down I believed it was true.
As I worked on my issues, and beliefs, I became like Teflon, anytime anyone said something to hurt me, it never stuck. If it did, then I knew it was my cue to see what belief I still held.
As I started to release my childhood traumas, my self-confidence and self-esteem started to build. When my self-esteem started to increase, I felt good about me. I had worth. As my confidence grew, I was able to ask for what I wanted, without feeling selfish.
Like me, you too can overcome the judgments from others. If someone calls you names, remember words will never hurt you… only if you let them. If they do, ask yourself, what is the belief around the hurt?
To Your Success!
Diana
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I’m a personal training consultant and weight lifting exhibitionist, however at one stage in my life, neither were my future proposals in all honesty.
As a teenager i hung around with the wrong crowd, i had always tagged myself with older guys which provided some comfort in knowing i had protection in this so called gang.
Only back then i can recall often name calling as i was the younger one, the words like stump, bone boy and skeleton skin had changed my life forever. On many occassions i was forced to arm wrestle the older boys in front of their girlfriends, it may have been to embarass me or to make them look good, or even both. Anyway it hurt a lot and it’s these times that are responsible for the leading focus fusion i have become today.
The last straw came when i was set upon by rival older youths, my so called friends did not interupt the incident and i remember looking through finger slits covering my face and seeing the smiling faces of those i had once trusted, again the words bone boy and the giggles that followed it.
I left the group and stayed at home, isolated, upset and driven. That’s right, i had a rage within me that i could not control, i was fourteen years old and i began an obsession with physical strength improvement training.
Looking back i don’t know whether to thank them for my complex or to punish them for my own self traumas, i have made advancements that only those other boys could ever dream of.
It’s strange that even now i look in the mirror and i don’t seem that big at all, to my friends and family, i’m huge and perhaps bewildering, but i wonder often if this was all a result of those childhood memories.
I strive to help others in what i do and for any person who lets words in, please don’t let them stay in.