How Can I Help Someone Build Confidence?
December 18th, 2007
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by admin · Filed Under: Build Confidence · Self-Confidence
How can you help someone build his or her self-confidence? Building ones Self Confidence and Self-Esteem is a very personal journey. Yes, we would like to see our love ones, friends, or co-workers have self-confidence. However, they have to want it. You can’t do it for them.
Resist from telling someone how they should act, or what they should do. Even if you think it’s just friendly advice, and it’s because you care. It could make then feel worse. People with low self-confidence and low self-esteem, are already beating themselves up. Do you remember what it was like when your self-confidence and self-esteem were low?
Remember, take 100% responsibility for yourself, and allow the other person to take their own 100% responsibility.
So, what can you do?
You can be an example. Show them how someone walks, talks and acts with confidence. When they see how confident you are, they might ask you how you did it. This will be your opportunity to tell them how you’ve mastered self-confidence. Remember, to keep your statement in the “I” and “for me” model. Keep it about you, not about them.
You can always invite them to participate in your self-confidence building events. Such as, Teleseminars, Groups, Lectures and such. People hear things when they are ready. So by inviting them, you are at least exposing them to a different way of thinking. And someday they just might get that Aha moment.
Also, explore the reasons what you want to change someone’s behavior. Does that person’s behavior annoy you? Are they trigging something inside you? Be clear on your motivation, and then take responsibility for your own personal growth.
Have Life Your Way,
diana vento
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This just seems like bull ****. If I may make a fair argument, other people are not entirely helpless when witnessing one struggle with low self-esteem. Some things are helpful, going for a walk with someone, taking them to the gym, or even just being a friend can start the ball rolling so they can start developing habbits, which will lead them to a confidence level that is reasonably reachable
lol Michael, please compair thes two paragraphs
”You can always invite them to participate in your self-confidence building events. Such as, Teleseminars, Groups, Lectures and such. People hear things when they are ready. So by inviting them, you are at least exposing them to a different way of thinking. And someday they just might get that Aha moment”
diana vento
”Some things are helpful, going for a walk with someone, taking them to the gym, or even just being a friend can start the ball rolling so they can start developing habbits”
Michael
you have basicly just reiterated what diana said, yet you thought what she said was bull****
Have a word with youself!!!
LOL – my way of thinking… is to live a confident life, become a role model, you never know who you will inspire, or how you will inspire.
Have a wonderful day!
Diana
I did a search to help myself learn how to help my wife. I found this site and began to read.
Needless to say I also learned how to help myself as well as my wife. (I also learned what my wife needed.) Just goes to show when you think you are doing it right, you may actually be doing it wrong.
I was wrong, I am now corrected, and I wager my wife and I shall have a better future.
Thank you Diana.
Thank you for sharing your insights. May you and your wife grow together.
To your Joyous future!
Diana
I have been reading a few posts similar to your’s, when I see a pattern of the same thing being said it becomes clearer. I read a post on how to look confident which ties in with what you were saying about how a person walks, talks acts etc. – http://www.buildconfidence.co.uk/how-to-look-confident.php
Are there any good books that can help boost low self esteem in a working area in particular? I suffer with lack of confidence in my team, I have known them for about 3 months but I still don’t feel confident enough around them to be myself.
Thanks,
Josh
Hi Josh,
I found Rhonda Britten books very helpful. Fearless Living and change your life in 30 days. Other good books are Jack Canfields, Maximum Confidence and Success Principles.
To your confident life!
Diana-
Wonderful advice! I hope that you keep on spreading this nonchalant message to more of those timid personalities that we all know and love.
This blog helped me to help my boyfriend, actually. Now whenever I act lively and flamboyant, he does as well (but not in the manner some dirty minds are thinking, thank you very much). It just makes all the better! Now if only he would actually catch on to this..(:
Thank you very much!
Tara
Each and everyone of us have roles to play, mother, father, daughter team member, brother sisiter, son, club member, walker, pet owner, when these roles start to dimnish, I think this starts lower our self esteem, we need to feel we are needed in this life and our input is valued! Just a thought, maybe to support someone with a low self esteem, look for the areas in there life that they would like to expand, increase hobbies, interests… it mite help
You’ve got great insights about confidence building, keep up the good work!
Hi Diana,
Great point about not telling people how they “should” act. Another thing that used to bother me, when i wasn’t confident, was people asking me, “Are you Okay?” i worked on strategies for dealing with that question (including giving people a little piece of paper that says “Hello, you have received this paper because you asked whether Andy Golay is ‘Okay.’ [then goes off on a bit of a rant inferring that the 'helpful' person should ask *themselves* whether they are okay, lol]… i never actually had to use that solution, though, i suspect because preparing for the question helped me see that it’s not such a hard thing to deal with, after really considering it. But that was me helping myself, and…
When i was struggling, that question “Are you okay?” was really tough to answer. Do you have advice for people who want to help, about whether it’s good to ask the people they care about, “Are you okay?” i feel like it almost falls under the “you should” type of comments, or at least *could,* depending on who’s asking, the follow-up, tone of voice, etc… Would love your thoughts!
Thanks!
-And
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Cheers!
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