The Confidence Blog

I had a friend come to me the other day and thank me for a tip I gave her. In our previous conversation, she was telling me she couldn’t fall asleep at night because she would start thinking about everything she had to do the next day. She was focusing on all the things she hadn’t accomplish that day, and all she had to do the next day. Her mind working overtime, and she found it difficult to fall asleep. The more she thought about how much she had to do, the more overwhelmed, and stressed she became.

In our conversation, I had given her a suggestion. I suggested she focus on what did get done, instead of focusing on what didn’t get done. Like counting sheep, count your successes. Then you will see how much you have accomplished and you will feel satisfied.

She told me she was lying in bed, thinking of all the things she didn’t get to that day, and all she had to do the next day. While she was lying in bed getting stressed out and overwhelmed, she said “I heard your voice in my head telling me to review my day and list all my successes. I did and started feeling better and fell asleep.” The next night she started thinking about all she yet had to do. She said again my voice came into her head, and she started making a list of all she did that day. She took her children to get new shoes, went to the cleaners, made dinner, washed, folded and put away clothes. And the list went on. She said she fell asleep not feeling stressed, overwhelmed or guilty. She told me now she does this every night before she goes to sleep.

She took action! And every night she continues to take action. If she continues for 21 consecutive days, she will create a new habit. Like brushing her teeth every night she will automatically review her day and count her success. She will also find it will become easier and easier to fall asleep stress and worry free.

This technique can be used in any area of your life. When you continually list and acknowledge your successes, instead of focuses on your failures, you will see your self-esteem, and confidence improve.

To Your Success!
Diana

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Like a thief in the night, stress will steal your confidence.  I know this from personal experience. 

In the past when I was stressed I found it easy to fall into old destructive habits and patterns of bad behavior. The doubt, negative self talk, the confusion, being overwhelmed, frustrated, procrastinating, giving up, beating myself up and not taking care of me by putting my well-being first.  I would find myself on the defensive, instead of being in control of me.

Fortunately, now when this happens, I now have tools to stop it from going any further. For example, depending on what I need, I’ll use the Sedona Method, EFT, Self-Hypnosis, or talk to a supportive friend who will allow me to vent, but not complain.  I’ve learned how to stop, take a moment, pay attention to the conversations in my head and not take it personally.

Dealing with your stress, will not only keep your body healthier, but it will also clear your mind and allow you to make empowered decisions.  It will let you take control of your life.

Start dealing with your stress today.

Here are some tips for preventing stress from robbing your confidence.

1. Don’t allow people to take their frustrations out on you.  I have a friend who tells her employer, “I don’t get combat pay” when her employer or someone in the company would yell and scream at her over an issue. 
2. Learn how to say no. Especially if you don’t want to do it.
3. Stop, take a moment, and take 3 deep breaths.  With each breath inhale calmness, and exhale the stress.
4. Don’t make it your problem. Let others be responsible for their own actions, thoughts and feelings.  You don’t have to fix anyone’s problems.
5. Don’t try to be perfect. You don’t have to know and do everything.
6. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
7. Reach out to coworkers, spouse, friends and family who can give you emotional support. 
8. Look for the correct tools to help you stop everyday stress and effectively deal with unavoidable stress.
9. Look for the silver lining.  Ask yourself, what you can learn, or how can you do it differently next time.
10. Let go and stop worrying about things for which you have no control. 

 
Remember,  a Stress Free day is a Confident Day!

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The holidays can become overwhelming with all the extra activities.  It can become difficult to find time for shopping, cooking, cleaning and parties.

Being stressed and overwhelmed can put a strain on your self-confidence.

Here are some easy ways to make the season a little less stressful and more enjoyable. 

Take a Moment – Find a quiet place without any interruptions and do the following exercise.  Take a very deep breath; hold it for a count of 3, and slowly breathe out letting go all your stress. Do this 3 times. This will help clear your mind, and calm your body.

Eliminate being Overwhelmed – When we have too much to do in a short period of time we become overwhelmed.  You can eliminate being overwhelmed by creating a plan.  Write down everything you have to do.   Decide when you want it completed.  Then schedule it on your calendar.

Create an effective To-Do-List – You can do this by backward planning. Close your eyes and see your goal completed.  Imagine what you did right before you reached your goal.  Keep going backwards like that until you have reached the beginning, where you are right now.  Write down each step. When you are done, trace the steps back in the other direction.  You now have created a step-by-step to-do list. Do this for each goal you want to reach.

Create Shortcuts – Look at your list and see where you can combine your efforts, delegate, or hire someone. 
Enjoy the Holiday – We get so busy we forget to stop and enjoy the Holiday.  Commit to making time for things that are important to you, such as a visiting with friends, baking with the children, or watching your favorite Holiday movies with your family.

Happy Holidays!

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