The Confidence Blog

I was walking my dog the other morning, and I was in deep thought.  I had been recently hurt by a good friend and was struggling letting go of the hurt.  While I was walking, my dog gave a small bark, and I noticed standing on the other side of the street were two dear.  I was surprised, because usually you don’t see deer at 9:30 in the morning.

As I stood gazing at them, and they stood watching me, I felt they were communicating with me and a sense of wonder filled me. I started to walk away, and I turned around to watch them gracefully fade away. 

As I watched them trot gracefully away, I noticed how effortlessly they took turns taking the lead.  There was no controlling, competition, or arguing. 

Another thing I observed, they were a pair.  It made me think, how companionship, friendship and support are really important.

I continued on my walk and started to feel an overwhelming feeling of compassion.  Tears started to stream down my face, and as I continued to walk, I was overwhelmed with love. 

I ponder the deer, because I knew they were a catalyst. And I asked myself the following questions: Why did the deer bring up this feeling of love and compassion?  What do deer represent to me?

For me, deer represent grace and beauty, and then I knew, innocent.  As I watched them, I felt their innocence.

At that moment, I realized we are all innocent, and we all deserve compassion.

As I continued my walk, I allowed my hurt and disappointment to melt away and be replaced with compassion. With each step I started to feel good about who I am.

I read once, that we can find answers in nature.  And I did. 

I am so appreciative of tapping into something higher then myself that morning.  For when I felt the tears and the overwhelming love, I knew it was coming from a loving source.

When we hold on to hurt, disappointment, and blame, there is no room for love, understanding and forgiveness.

Start making room today!

Diana.

Tweet This Post

This morning I looked in my sock draw for a pair of socks that would match my outfit, and found a pair of dark green/gray socks.

When I got outside I noticed that my socks were not green/gray, but chocolate brown!  I was stunned, and guessed it was probably the lighting in my bedroom.  So I decided when I got to my destination, I would take my socks off because they didn’t match what I was wearing.

When I went to take my socks off, I saw they were no longer brown, nor green/gray, but an olive green.  No I do not own a pair of chameleon socks! My best guest was the overhead lights were filtering out the color red which made my socks brown. 

And that got me thinking on how we use filters on people and on ourselves.  Our filters are like the color spectrum, we can color our experiences, with prejudices, and judgments from past experiences, family culture, etc.

So I ask you, what filters are preventing you from having high confidence and self-esteem?

Do you have a filter of self-doubt?
Do you have a filter of not good enough?
Do you have a filter of having to be right?
Do you have a filter of expectations?

How can these filters affect your confidence and self esteem?

Let’s say you are overworked, and want to ask your boss to hire additional help.  BUT, you lack the confidence to ask.

Your filters might be…
1. You doubt yourself in your ability to convince your boss why extra help is needed.
2. You don’t want your boss to think you aren’t good enough because you can’t do the work by yourself
3. You are convinced hiring extra help is the only solution and can’t see any other way.
4. You expect your manager to say no.  So why bother?

How can you remove these filters and let all of your confidence and self-esteem soar!

First – recognize your filters.  Become aware of what you say to yourself.  Become aware of your attitude, and feelings.

Second – decide to change it.  Make a commitment to remove your filters.

Third – Find resources to help you. Read books, join groups, find tools that work for you, get a coach, or a mentor.
Fourth – act on your commitment.  Implement and Practice.  Implement –DO IT.   And Practice, Practice, Practice.  You are not going to remove years of behavior in one day.  It takes 21 days to change a habit, and rewire your brain.  Remember – practice does make perfect, only if you put it into practice.

Fifth – be kind to yourself, and accept that you are in the perfect place right now!

What will happen when you remove your filters? 

Self doubt becomes self assurance
Not good enough becomes loving and accepting you.
Having to be right becomes opening to possibilities.
Expectations become living in the moment.

Most importantly, your self esteem and self confidence will begin to grow! 

Remember, holding on to these filters, stops your true self from shining through. 

I encourage you to let all your colors shine!

To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post

Last week I felt I was getting depressed.  Nothing was wrong in my life, and nothing was right either.  I didn’t know what was wrong.  I just knew how I felt. 

I could feel my energy go down, when I got home from work, all I wanted to do was sleep.  I didn’t have any energy.  I was totally bored.  I could feel my confidence seeping away, things I normally wouldn’t think about doing, I now hesitated.  If I allowed myself, I could spiral down into a depression.

During the week, I used the weapons in my arsenal (I call them weapons, because sometimes keeping my self-esteem and confidence up can feel like a battle).  I did the Sedona Method, and EFT.  Though, they worked for the moment, my sad feeling would return.

On Saturday, as I was having my morning coffee, I took out my journal.  I realized it had been over a week since I had written.  So I decided to write about how I was feeling.  As I was writing, I could justify every feeling I had, AND if I allowed, I could go deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of hurt, anger and depression. 

Then, it hit me!  It’s a choice.  I had a choice.  I could stay with these non-happy feelings, or I could choose to be happy.  After all, it is all a state of mind.  So this is what I wrote. Do I want to be happy? Yes!  What can I do? I can take my mind off of my problems and focus on something else.  Like what? I listed the things I could do that would keep my mind occupied and start feeling good about me.  So, I went shopping for some cloths that I needed.  I started my fall cleaning.  I worked outside.  I took my dog for a long walk, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.  By Sunday late afternoon, I felt better.  I had a renewed determination, and sense of focus…  Little things made me laugh.  I was happy!

Monday morning, as I was driving to work, I gave my appreciation for all that I have.  And for the teachers that have come into my life and taught me how to live my life my way. 

You too, can have happiness, self-confidence and self-esteem.  Just change your mind, and decide to have them. 

It’s your choice, what do you choose?

To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post

I was sitting in my kitchen thinking about the client I had recently helped. They were able to remember a childhood trauma that was interfering with their ability to lose weight.  They not only released the trauma from their subconscious, but I helped them release it from their body.  This trauma had manifested in their stomach, like an ulcer.

As I was reminiscing, I started to shift through my childhood, and these Cliché’s popped into my mind.  It takes one to know one, and Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.  At the time, I use to say these when someone would call me a name. It is not until now, that I understand the meaning behind these words.

Have you ever had someone judge or put a label on you?  It usually starts with you are . . . stupid, lazy, selfish, mean, unkind, arrogant, conceited, a slob, and fat.  The list can go on.  As a child, I usually heard I was lazy, selfish and a fat pig. How about you?  Stop and take a moment and write down what people said to you that hurt.

When I was a child, and other children would call me names, I learned how to say. . . It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.” At the time, I did not really know what it meant; it just felt good to shout it back.  However, when I heard name calling from a parent, teacher or any authority figure, it was crushing and I believe that something was wrong with me.  I wasn’t allowed to yell back It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.

As an adult, I now realized not only was it crushing; I accepted it as a truth.  For years, I was afraid to ask for what I wanted for fear of being considered selfish.  I have always thought I was a fat pig, even when I was healthy and at the correct weight.  I would feel I was being judged as lazy if everything in my life was not neat and orderly.

How did I handle it?  I would shut down, beat myself up, or lashed out.  I frequently would “cut off my nose to spite my face.”

How did I overcome this?

First – I became aware of what triggered me.  I started to pay attention to my reactions when I felt someone was judging me.

Second – I used hypnosis to get to the “core” of my issue, and release it.

Third – I realized that the only way someone could hurt me with words, is if I let them.  If I let them, it meant deep down I believed it was true.

As I worked on my issues, and beliefs, I became like Teflon, anytime anyone said something to hurt me, it never stuck.  If it did, then I knew it was my cue to see what belief I still held.

As I started to release my childhood traumas, my self-confidence and self-esteem started to build.  When my self-esteem started to increase, I felt good about me.  I had worth.  As my confidence grew, I was able to ask for what I wanted, without feeling selfish.

Like me, you too can overcome the judgments from others.  If someone calls you names, remember words will never hurt you… only if you let them.  If they do, ask yourself, what is the belief around the hurt?

To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post

I imagine my body is like a piano, ready at a moments notice to confidently play beautiful uplifting music.  All I have to do is keep it in tune. 

Keeping yourself in tuned is a consistent process.

First – know what you want

Second – let go of the fear of not having it

Third – when you see an opportunity, take ACTION!

It’s time to start changing your thought patterns.  When a thought and feeling comes up that doesn’t support what you want, change it, or let it go.  Reinforce your issue with a new thought and better feeling.  When you do this, the Law of Attraction will kick in.

What happens when you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings?   On the physical side, your brain will start to “rewire” itself, to match your new behavior and thought patterns.  In order to make permanent changes in your brain, and behavior, YOU MUST be consistent.  Consistency is the key to making life changing habits. 

Also, your body, will tell you the truth.  Therefore, it is important to become aware of your feelings and where you feel them in your body. 

Here is a body/feeling connection exercise you can do.

Take a deep cleansing breath – close your eyes and think of something sad, feel the feeling and see where you feel it in your body.  Then do the same for anger, frustration, and hopelessness.  Where in your body do you feel these feeling?  Now, repeat the exercise and see where hope, happiness, joy, peace and love are n your body. 

Knowing where these feelings are in your body will help you determine when you are in or out of tune.

Sadness, anger, frustration and hopelessness will keep you out of tune with source energy, whereas love, joy, peace and happiness will connect you to source energy, the universe, GOD, or whatever higher power you believe in.

When someone or something hits a key and you feel yourself playing out of tune, you know it’s your signal to “tune the instrument.” Remember playing with a tuned instrument will keep you connected with source energy, the universe or GOD

And, being connected is the way to manifest a joyful, fulfilling life.

Did you ever listen to music that brought you so much joy it raised your vibrations, and you felt so much love toward the world and everyone in it? 

Imagine feeling that all the time.  You can, when you stay In Tuned!

Tweet This Post

I am a big fan of the Abraham teachings provided by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  I started reading the book Money and the Law of Attraction.  I’ve already listened to the audio version several times, and I decided to read the book also.  I was reading the Preface, written by Jerry Hicks, and a light bulb went off in my head.  It finally clicked for me.  I am creating my world, my reality.  Whatever happens to me, or wherever I am in life, is because of my desire and the choices I’ve made.  When Jerry was explaining about his desires and how they manifested for him, I finally understood.

I went back through my life and remembered the times when I truly wanted something. Not wanting it out of  desperation, but because I truly desired it.  Whether it was a better job, or a new relationship, or something material, when I desired it without knowing how it was going to come, I received it, and most of the time it came out of left field, which surprised me.  When I look back, I see I got what I had asked for.

Now I am at a time in my life when I am learning how to create deliberately, and I have to laugh because I am still amazed when I get what I want.  And it still comes out of left field.

For Example:  I’ve always wanted a cat with brown eyes.  I know someone who has exotic cats with brown eyes, and I’ve always admired them.  Just recently someone abandon a kitten in my front yard and she is a pretty 7 week old Calico cat.  I was looking at her the other day and realized she has brown eyes!  They look like chocolate milk.  I was stunned, and then immediately said my appreciation for this wonderful gift. I now have a cat with brown eyes!

The last 6 years I have been on a journey to find joy and to become a happier person.  I’ve accomplished releasing the fear and worry from my life.  I’ve learned how to take risk, and jump out of my comfort zone.  I’ve learned how to love myself.  The by-product has been increase self-esteem and self-confidence.

The idea of getting what I want was exciting to me, but first I had to release some ‘baggage” or “limited beliefs” I had collected from my past.  The belief I was being “selfish” when I wanted to put me first.  The belief that I can’t have what I want.  As I cleared a limited belief away another on would pop up.  It reminded me of a PEZ dispenser, each time I took a limited belief out, another one would pop up, ready to be worked on.  I use to think it was hopeless, I would never be finished. Then my life started changing.  I started looking forward to the next limited belief, because it clarified what I wanted, and brought me closer to the joy I was seeking.

I use to ask myself, if I create my reality, how come I don’t have what I want?  Then I realized I do have what I want.  What I have is what I’ve asked for and ALLOWED to happen.  If I don’t have everything that I want, then it’s because I have a belief it can’t happen, or I don’t have a clear vision of it, or I don’t believe I am worthy, or whatever.  It isn’t here because I have not ALLOWED it to MANIFEST.

As I mentioned before, I have been on my journey to find joy and to be a happy person.  And I have accomplished that goal.  I AM HAPPY.  Each morning I wake up filled with joy and anticipation of creating what I want.  Life still throws me some curves, but with the tools I have collected, Hypnosis, The Sedona Method, EFT and my belief that I have the POWER to change things. I get through.  It’s like my happiness and joy are my life saver.  Once in a while a tidal wave will wash over me, but my life preserver of joy keeps me afloat until the danger passes.  My tools help me paddle safely to shore.

YOU can have what you want.  All you have to do is decide what you do want.  Be clear and FOCUS on what you desire. Do not focus on what you don’t have, instead keep focusing on what you WANT!

Start Manifesting TODAY!

I Love you ALL!

Diana

Tweet This Post

My father passed away last month.  This will be my first Father’s Day without him in the physical world.  I know that my spirit is with him in the spiritual world.

I was fortunate, in the fact that I was able to make peace with my Dad.  My Dad and I had a very challenging relationship when I was growing up.  Being the eldest child, and a daughter in an Italian/Spanish family, I was their test subject.  They did all their practicing as parents on me and my sister.  All I wanted was freedom, and all my parents wanted was that I do what they thought was best for me.  Often, our personal desires clashed

 
The one thing that meant the most to me is that my Dad allowed me, to be me.  He allowed me to explore ideas and new concepts.  He really could be a good sport.  I remember when I was in school and discovered handwriting analysis. He allowed me to analyze him.  Of course, I look for all the ‘bad’ and not good about him.

Another time, when I was studying psychology, again, my dad was my subject and I only saw the “negative parts of his personality”.

My view of my dad started to change when I studied Astrology.  Then I saw planetary proof why he was so angry!  LOL

Yet, when my car was stolen, after I loaned it to someone, he never ridiculed me, he just helped me do what I needed to do to get it back.  He said we always make mistakes, and he was proud of me that I was trusting and generous.  I had good intentions; I was trying to help a person in need.

It wasn’t until I started to grow up at the age of 50, and started my healing process that I forgave my father.  I started looking at him as a man, not just my Dad.  I saw how much he loved my mother, and us.  He showed it by the way he worked 12 hours a day for so many years. He was always there when we needed help.

I remember when I sat both my parents down and told them what I didn’t like what they did to me when I was growing up. Then I told them what I loved about them.  What gifts they gave me.  My dad was the one who thank me.  And from that day forward, we were a loving father and daughter duo.

As I said before, I was fortunate to make peace with my Dad while he was alive.  I saw my dad as a person, with his own baggage, hopes and dreams.  I chose to see the best of my Dad.

My Dad was a wonderful artist, he was a great storyteller, and he was the most hospitable person I ever met.  I could bring home anyone, and my father always made them feel welcome and part of the family.

My Dad and I had great conversations about what I was learning on my journey toward personal growth.  We talked about the Law of Attraction, hypnosis, and all the new discoveries being made.

What I loved about my Dad, he listened without judgment.  That is a gift I hope he passed on to me.

Whether your Dad is alive, missing or in the spiritual world, and you don’t have the relationship you want, or didn’t have the relationship you needed. I encourage you to let go of the hurt and anger.  You can start the process by appreciating them and by forgiving them.  The forgiveness will be for you, because when you release the anger and the hurt, that’s when there will be room for the love.

Remember, Dad’s are people too; they are like the rest of us.  Doing the best we can, looking to connect, love and be loved.

To all Dad’s, I want to say Happy Father’s Day!

I love you all!

Diana

Tweet This Post

Last week I had a meeting with strangers and I showed up as myself.  Showing up as me means, I was confident and gave my opinions, theories and insight calmly, and confidently.  I surprised myself, because in the past, when I was with strangers and would start to talk, my heart would start to beat fast, my hands would start to sweat, and I would forget what I wanted to say, or fumble on my words.  I’ve improved over the years, and my symptoms have lessens, however, the fast beating of my heart, the dry mouth and the scared feeling never really left until this meeting.  This time, I experienced calm and confidence. I showed up to that meeting happy and confident, because I was confident.  I received a pleasant insight about me.  I saw, heard and felt my intelligence.  All my years of experience came together.  I felt like an actor or athlete when all your training comes together with ease and grace. I felt alive!

What I realized, I had let go of my fears.  My fear of being wrong, my wanting approval, and validation. My fear of not being able to offer something of value.  I let go of the fear of being judged.  Of “losing my job” because I couldn’t perform.  I let go of my fear of being less then.  I let go of my fear of being wrong.  What I did was show up as me, with my personality, my experience and my perception of the situation.  I didn’t get hurt if they said my idea wasn’t what they were looking for.  I didn’t get crushed if I didn’t hear “job well done Diane”.  I didn’t get discouraged if they didn’t ask for more feedback.  I wasn’t afraid to disagree with their observations.  I truly came into the meeting as me, confident, and I walked away feeling better about myself.

I am hear to tell you, YOU too can have the same experience.  I see it as the Wizard of Oz.  The journey to self-confidence and self-esteem is like the yellow brick road.  The house falling on the wicked witch symbolized eliminating your past influences, and starting on your new journey.  The yellow brick road is that journey, promise of you dreams fulfillment.  Along the way, you pick up the scarecrow and you become aware of the thoughts going through you head.  Then you pick up the Tin Man, and you start forgiving and loving yourself.  Then you pick up the Lion, and your courage, and determination increase.  All the while on your journey, the Wicked Witch of the East, or your destructive, fearful, self is trying to stop you from succeeding.  With these three companions – insight, love and courage you make it to the Emerald City.  The Emerald city leads you home to your true self.

Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road.  Your off to become your confident self, in the Wonderful World of YOU.

To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post

Would you believe failing can be a good thing?

Failing can allow us to learn from our mistakes.
Failing can allow us to determine what we really want.

In my opinion, it is considered failing when whatever happens keeps you stuck.  You start beating yourself up, and don’t take the risk to try again.  If you tend to do that, then yes I can see why you would think you have failed.

The successful confident person is the one who ask questions and tries again and again until they succeed. 

The other day I was speaking with a friend and I was telling her what I had just discovered one of my limited beliefs.  I was reading Napoleon Hill and he was speaking about Andrew Carnegie on how he went from nothing to having more than 100 million dollars.  And the thought and feeling came over me that he is the exception, not the norm.  Now with all my training and my own life experience I know that statement was based in fear, not logic, because I know we can have and do anything we want to, because we create our own reality.  So I did some EFT on the new information that came up, and released the feeling and thought that only Andrew Carnegie could do this, because he was a rare breed ,and I wasn’t in his league.  It made me realized how fear could make me feel like a failure. 

I remember when I was working on my self-confidence issues I use to think I was a failure, and how I was afraid of failing.  For me it was because they would be right.   “They” were my elders and my family.  My family culture was to find a job, and stay in it until you died, and it didn’t matter if you hated it.  Security was the top thing.  You had to be secure.  YOU DON’T TAKE ANY RISK! Then I came along, someone who always wanted to do things differently.  Against my family wishes, I would try something different, and sometimes it wouldn’t work out, and I would have to deal with, I told you so. 

What happened?  I started to be conditioned to not take a risk until I was sure I was going to succeed.  And I ended up doing exactly what I didn’t want to do.  Getting into jobs I hated.  Afraid to leave the security, the steady, and I might add, low paying salary. 

Starting my self-confidence journey has been the biggest risk I have ever taken.  I had to learn how to change old patterns and old ways of thinking.  Yes, I have make mistakes, and at times have fallen back into old patterns, but I’ve learned to learn from those mistakes, and now see the opportunities they present.   I no longer see them as failures.

When you ask yourself what if I fail? Instead ask, where is the opportunity? What can I do next to succeed?  What have I learned? What can I do differently? Once you have answered your questions, reevaluated, and ask do I still want this? Asking this question will help you clarify on what you really do want.

As you can see, failing can be a good thing.  Me personally, I don’t like the word failing, I prefer to say, “Well, that didn’t work, what can I do to make it work?”

Remember, the only person who can make you feel, think and sound like a failure is you.  The next time you ask yourself the question “What if I fail?”  Immediately ask, “How can I succeed?”
 
To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post

Happy New Year

Are you ready to make life changes in 2009?
Will you be starting 2009 with clarity, gratitude, and by taking action OR with pessimism, lack of direction and excuses?

To succeed in 2009, it’s important to have an attitude of gratitude, create SMART goals, take inspired actions, and be with supportive people.

By creating SMART goals you can be successful.

What are SMART goals? 

SMART goals are:

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timed

You probably have already created a few New Years resolutions, but have you reviewed all your successes for 2008?

To help you become more successful in 2009, I am offering a FREE Success Test to help you see what your current levels of success are in each area of your life. Use this test as a foundation to start creating your SMART goals to increase your levels of success in everything that you do. 

To Your Success in 2009!

Diana

Tweet This Post