The Confidence Blog

I was sitting in my kitchen thinking about the client I had recently helped. They were able to remember a childhood trauma that was interfering with their ability to lose weight.  They not only released the trauma from their subconscious, but I helped them release it from their body.  This trauma had manifested in their stomach, like an ulcer.

As I was reminiscing, I started to shift through my childhood, and these Cliché’s popped into my mind.  It takes one to know one, and Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.  At the time, I use to say these when someone would call me a name. It is not until now, that I understand the meaning behind these words.

Have you ever had someone judge or put a label on you?  It usually starts with you are . . . stupid, lazy, selfish, mean, unkind, arrogant, conceited, a slob, and fat.  The list can go on.  As a child, I usually heard I was lazy, selfish and a fat pig. How about you?  Stop and take a moment and write down what people said to you that hurt.

When I was a child, and other children would call me names, I learned how to say. . . It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.” At the time, I did not really know what it meant; it just felt good to shout it back.  However, when I heard name calling from a parent, teacher or any authority figure, it was crushing and I believe that something was wrong with me.  I wasn’t allowed to yell back It takes one to know one, or Sticks and stones might hurt my bones but words will never hurt me.

As an adult, I now realized not only was it crushing; I accepted it as a truth.  For years, I was afraid to ask for what I wanted for fear of being considered selfish.  I have always thought I was a fat pig, even when I was healthy and at the correct weight.  I would feel I was being judged as lazy if everything in my life was not neat and orderly.

How did I handle it?  I would shut down, beat myself up, or lashed out.  I frequently would “cut off my nose to spite my face.”

How did I overcome this?

First – I became aware of what triggered me.  I started to pay attention to my reactions when I felt someone was judging me.

Second – I used hypnosis to get to the “core” of my issue, and release it.

Third – I realized that the only way someone could hurt me with words, is if I let them.  If I let them, it meant deep down I believed it was true.

As I worked on my issues, and beliefs, I became like Teflon, anytime anyone said something to hurt me, it never stuck.  If it did, then I knew it was my cue to see what belief I still held.

As I started to release my childhood traumas, my self-confidence and self-esteem started to build.  When my self-esteem started to increase, I felt good about me.  I had worth.  As my confidence grew, I was able to ask for what I wanted, without feeling selfish.

Like me, you too can overcome the judgments from others.  If someone calls you names, remember words will never hurt you… only if you let them.  If they do, ask yourself, what is the belief around the hurt?

To Your Success!

Diana

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