The Confidence Blog

Last week I felt I was getting depressed.  Nothing was wrong in my life, and nothing was right either.  I didn’t know what was wrong.  I just knew how I felt. 

I could feel my energy go down, when I got home from work, all I wanted to do was sleep.  I didn’t have any energy.  I was totally bored.  I could feel my confidence seeping away, things I normally wouldn’t think about doing, I now hesitated.  If I allowed myself, I could spiral down into a depression.

During the week, I used the weapons in my arsenal (I call them weapons, because sometimes keeping my self-esteem and confidence up can feel like a battle).  I did the Sedona Method, and EFT.  Though, they worked for the moment, my sad feeling would return.

On Saturday, as I was having my morning coffee, I took out my journal.  I realized it had been over a week since I had written.  So I decided to write about how I was feeling.  As I was writing, I could justify every feeling I had, AND if I allowed, I could go deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of hurt, anger and depression. 

Then, it hit me!  It’s a choice.  I had a choice.  I could stay with these non-happy feelings, or I could choose to be happy.  After all, it is all a state of mind.  So this is what I wrote. Do I want to be happy? Yes!  What can I do? I can take my mind off of my problems and focus on something else.  Like what? I listed the things I could do that would keep my mind occupied and start feeling good about me.  So, I went shopping for some cloths that I needed.  I started my fall cleaning.  I worked outside.  I took my dog for a long walk, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.  By Sunday late afternoon, I felt better.  I had a renewed determination, and sense of focus…  Little things made me laugh.  I was happy!

Monday morning, as I was driving to work, I gave my appreciation for all that I have.  And for the teachers that have come into my life and taught me how to live my life my way. 

You too, can have happiness, self-confidence and self-esteem.  Just change your mind, and decide to have them. 

It’s your choice, what do you choose?

To Your Success!

Diana

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I imagine my body is like a piano, ready at a moments notice to confidently play beautiful uplifting music.  All I have to do is keep it in tune. 

Keeping yourself in tuned is a consistent process.

First – know what you want

Second – let go of the fear of not having it

Third – when you see an opportunity, take ACTION!

It’s time to start changing your thought patterns.  When a thought and feeling comes up that doesn’t support what you want, change it, or let it go.  Reinforce your issue with a new thought and better feeling.  When you do this, the Law of Attraction will kick in.

What happens when you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings?   On the physical side, your brain will start to “rewire” itself, to match your new behavior and thought patterns.  In order to make permanent changes in your brain, and behavior, YOU MUST be consistent.  Consistency is the key to making life changing habits. 

Also, your body, will tell you the truth.  Therefore, it is important to become aware of your feelings and where you feel them in your body. 

Here is a body/feeling connection exercise you can do.

Take a deep cleansing breath – close your eyes and think of something sad, feel the feeling and see where you feel it in your body.  Then do the same for anger, frustration, and hopelessness.  Where in your body do you feel these feeling?  Now, repeat the exercise and see where hope, happiness, joy, peace and love are n your body. 

Knowing where these feelings are in your body will help you determine when you are in or out of tune.

Sadness, anger, frustration and hopelessness will keep you out of tune with source energy, whereas love, joy, peace and happiness will connect you to source energy, the universe, GOD, or whatever higher power you believe in.

When someone or something hits a key and you feel yourself playing out of tune, you know it’s your signal to “tune the instrument.” Remember playing with a tuned instrument will keep you connected with source energy, the universe or GOD

And, being connected is the way to manifest a joyful, fulfilling life.

Did you ever listen to music that brought you so much joy it raised your vibrations, and you felt so much love toward the world and everyone in it? 

Imagine feeling that all the time.  You can, when you stay In Tuned!

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I am a big fan of the Abraham teachings provided by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  I started reading the book Money and the Law of Attraction.  I’ve already listened to the audio version several times, and I decided to read the book also.  I was reading the Preface, written by Jerry Hicks, and a light bulb went off in my head.  It finally clicked for me.  I am creating my world, my reality.  Whatever happens to me, or wherever I am in life, is because of my desire and the choices I’ve made.  When Jerry was explaining about his desires and how they manifested for him, I finally understood.

I went back through my life and remembered the times when I truly wanted something. Not wanting it out of  desperation, but because I truly desired it.  Whether it was a better job, or a new relationship, or something material, when I desired it without knowing how it was going to come, I received it, and most of the time it came out of left field, which surprised me.  When I look back, I see I got what I had asked for.

Now I am at a time in my life when I am learning how to create deliberately, and I have to laugh because I am still amazed when I get what I want.  And it still comes out of left field.

For Example:  I’ve always wanted a cat with brown eyes.  I know someone who has exotic cats with brown eyes, and I’ve always admired them.  Just recently someone abandon a kitten in my front yard and she is a pretty 7 week old Calico cat.  I was looking at her the other day and realized she has brown eyes!  They look like chocolate milk.  I was stunned, and then immediately said my appreciation for this wonderful gift. I now have a cat with brown eyes!

The last 6 years I have been on a journey to find joy and to become a happier person.  I’ve accomplished releasing the fear and worry from my life.  I’ve learned how to take risk, and jump out of my comfort zone.  I’ve learned how to love myself.  The by-product has been increase self-esteem and self-confidence.

The idea of getting what I want was exciting to me, but first I had to release some ‘baggage” or “limited beliefs” I had collected from my past.  The belief I was being “selfish” when I wanted to put me first.  The belief that I can’t have what I want.  As I cleared a limited belief away another on would pop up.  It reminded me of a PEZ dispenser, each time I took a limited belief out, another one would pop up, ready to be worked on.  I use to think it was hopeless, I would never be finished. Then my life started changing.  I started looking forward to the next limited belief, because it clarified what I wanted, and brought me closer to the joy I was seeking.

I use to ask myself, if I create my reality, how come I don’t have what I want?  Then I realized I do have what I want.  What I have is what I’ve asked for and ALLOWED to happen.  If I don’t have everything that I want, then it’s because I have a belief it can’t happen, or I don’t have a clear vision of it, or I don’t believe I am worthy, or whatever.  It isn’t here because I have not ALLOWED it to MANIFEST.

As I mentioned before, I have been on my journey to find joy and to be a happy person.  And I have accomplished that goal.  I AM HAPPY.  Each morning I wake up filled with joy and anticipation of creating what I want.  Life still throws me some curves, but with the tools I have collected, Hypnosis, The Sedona Method, EFT and my belief that I have the POWER to change things. I get through.  It’s like my happiness and joy are my life saver.  Once in a while a tidal wave will wash over me, but my life preserver of joy keeps me afloat until the danger passes.  My tools help me paddle safely to shore.

YOU can have what you want.  All you have to do is decide what you do want.  Be clear and FOCUS on what you desire. Do not focus on what you don’t have, instead keep focusing on what you WANT!

Start Manifesting TODAY!

I Love you ALL!

Diana

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Here is a confidence question I recently received.

Where do I even begin when I’ve lived a life of 36 years with virtually zero self-confidence? I know I need to learn to be my own best friend and give myself what I can’t get from others, but how do I do that?

Where do you begin? You have already begun, because the first step is knowing you want to make a change.  You are already aware that putting yourself first is best and that your happiness comes from within you, and not from others.  Congratulation on this awareness. 

Have you ever ask yourself “What does self-confidence mean to me?”

If someone were to ask you “Do you know how self confidence and self esteem look, feel and sound to you?” What would you answer? 

I’ve discovered people say they want more confidence and more self-esteem. When asked to describe it, they can’t, because they do not have a clear picture of what it feels, looks and sounds like.

Also, if you ask a group of people, you will probably find that everyone has a different idea what self-confidence means to them.  The reason is because we all see our world through our own life experiences.  These experiences, coupled with personal need create unique filters in which we view people, events and the world.

A few years back, I remember my sister and me reminiscing about our childhood. We started to talk about this particular incident that happened.  As we discussed the incident, I noticed not only did she have a completely different experience than I did, she also remember the incident differently from me.  I was astonished!  She believed what she experienced was true, and so did I.  It was the beginning for me to understand how we could both be right.  I was realizing even though we grew up in the same house, and had pretty much the same experiences, we were different people, with our own set of values, personalities and beliefs. 

This is why I think it is important to be clear on what self-confidence and self-esteem mean to you.

In order to find out, write on a piece of paper all the qualities ‘you think’ you need to be self-confident. (Remember to be specific).

Next look at your list.   All the qualities you already possess, highlight, check off, or put a happy face, next to it.

The qualities on your list you didn’t check off will be what you will work on.  Now prioritize them and work on them one at a time. 

My experience is when you try to change everything at once; you get overwhelmed and give up, and therefore, set yourself up for failure.  Look at your list and prioritize the qualities anyway you want.  Such as easiest to do, or strongest desire to change.

Now pick one quality on your list and start practicing. For example: Let’s say one of the qualities you would like to have is asking for what you want.  When the first opportunity for you to ask for what you want comes up, you take it.  It might be scary, but you do it.  Then another opportunity comes along, and another, and another, and another, and with each opportunity you ask for what you want.  You will find that it gets easier and easier until one day it will become natural for you to ask for what you want.  When you have mastered this quality, go onto the next.

This exercise will help you increase your confidence levels.

To Your Success!

Diana

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I had a friend come to me the other day and thank me for a tip I gave her. In our previous conversation, she was telling me she couldn’t fall asleep at night because she would start thinking about everything she had to do the next day. She was focusing on all the things she hadn’t accomplish that day, and all she had to do the next day. Her mind working overtime, and she found it difficult to fall asleep. The more she thought about how much she had to do, the more overwhelmed, and stressed she became.

In our conversation, I had given her a suggestion. I suggested she focus on what did get done, instead of focusing on what didn’t get done. Like counting sheep, count your successes. Then you will see how much you have accomplished and you will feel satisfied.

She told me she was lying in bed, thinking of all the things she didn’t get to that day, and all she had to do the next day. While she was lying in bed getting stressed out and overwhelmed, she said “I heard your voice in my head telling me to review my day and list all my successes. I did and started feeling better and fell asleep.” The next night she started thinking about all she yet had to do. She said again my voice came into her head, and she started making a list of all she did that day. She took her children to get new shoes, went to the cleaners, made dinner, washed, folded and put away clothes. And the list went on. She said she fell asleep not feeling stressed, overwhelmed or guilty. She told me now she does this every night before she goes to sleep.

She took action! And every night she continues to take action. If she continues for 21 consecutive days, she will create a new habit. Like brushing her teeth every night she will automatically review her day and count her success. She will also find it will become easier and easier to fall asleep stress and worry free.

This technique can be used in any area of your life. When you continually list and acknowledge your successes, instead of focuses on your failures, you will see your self-esteem, and confidence improve.

To Your Success!
Diana

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If you really want to become more self-confident and have more self-esteem, then you are going have to be willing to change.

Building your confidence and esteem is not an overnight process.  It takes commitment, dedication and desire.  It takes finding the tool that will work for you and integrating them into your daily life.

What do I mean by integrating? I mean putting into practice what you learn every day. 

It is similar to when you learned how to walk. Have you ever watched a baby learn how to walk?  First they crawl around. Then they pull themselves up and hold onto something, a table, couch or someone’s hand while finding their balance. Once they have found their balance they then take that first step.  They don’t immediately get up and start running. No they repeat the process over and over, and with each repeating they become steadier and take more risk.  They continue until they find that perfect balance and are walking without assistance. When that happens, they don’t think about it anymore, because it becomes second nature.

The same thing happens when building your self-confidence and self-esteem.  The couch, table or helping hand, can represent books, seminars, or a coach.  Once you have found your balance, the tool that inspires you, you can then start practicing.  As you put into action what you have learned you will find that every day, you will become stronger and find that balance which will allow you to be more confident. Before you know it you won’t even have to consciously think about what to do, or how to act.

You will start:
Feeling good about yourself,
Asking for what you want
Willing to try something new
Loving yourself
Putting yourself first.
AND. . .

You can be, do and have anything you want!

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In the past, I was unhappy, so I decided to improve my life.  I intuitively knew I had low confidence and self-esteem, and wanted to improve these.  I just didn’t know how.  I went online to Amazon.com and typed in confidence and self-esteem and thousands of books came up.  I didn’t know which books would work for me. I was confused and overwhelmed, and did what I always did when I got into this state.  I rationalized, complained, procrastinated, and talked myself out of my desire to change. Until…

I found the show, Starting Over.  It was about a group of women living in a house, learning how to make life changes, by two Life Coaches.  One of the women named Andy, was upset with an assignment her life coach, Rhonda Britten, had given her.  I don’t remember what she said, or the details; I just understood how Andy felt.  I identified with her.  I felt her pain, because it was my pain. I heard her frustration, because it was my frustration. I saw her anger, because it was my anger.  I felt her hopelessness. In my mind’s eye I envisioned the wall she had built around herself, because I had the same type of wall surrounding me.  I identified with her.  I saw the unhappy me portrayed in this daytime TV show. 

I was hooked. I wanted to learn how to change my life.  When Rhonda spoke to Andy, I felt she was talking to me.  There were other women in the house that I identified with, but not as strong as with Andy. 

Then Rhonda told her story.  She had seen her father shoot her mother and then shoot himself in front of her. Leaving her as a witness to her parent’s murder/suicide at 14!  Boy did my problems feel insignificant!

But they were my problems, therefore, real and significant. My problems were preventing me from having the life I wanted: A joyful and happy life. 

I decided to buy Rhonda’s book Change Your Life In 30 Days, and it did.  It allowed me to get in touch with the “real” me.    I then bought Fearless Living, Rhonda’s first book.  That book was powerful for me, because I got in touch with my fear.  Fear that ran my life, and prevented me from living a joyful life.  The insights, the lessons, and personal growth I received from reading those two books propelled me on my journey toward personal growth.  One of the biggest revelations I had, I discovered I had surrounded myself with people like me. Who were unhappy with life, and just existing day to day. 

Rhonda Britten was my first step to building my confidence, self-esteem, and living my life.  I have read books by several authors, attended workshops, learned exciting techniques, and have been coach.  Like a baby learning to walk, at first I was wobbly, taking tiny steps, but each day I practice the tools I had learned until one day I discover I could run!

I will share a valuable lesson I learned. You can learn all you want, but unless you integrate, by putting it into practice, it’s just another learning that will be put back on the shelf.

Another person who has been very influential in my personal growth is Jack Canfield.  When I first heard Jack talk about his childhood, I understood his childhood, because it was very similar to mine.

Here is another lesson I will share with you. when you get these recognitions, ACT.  I’ve discovered that it’s the Universe, God, or whatever higher power you believe in, telling you to pay attention, it’s time to change.  To go for what you have been asking for.

I had been asking for a happier life.  I was tired of feeling unhappy, stressed, lonely and just plain miserable.  I complained and whined about it, but didn’t make much effort to do anything about it.  Oh, I had excuses.  I had no time. I didn’t know what to do.  No one cared about me.   I could go on and on.  Now looking back, I see the universe was presenting me opportunities and not problems.   I was just to steep in my misery to see.  Until, one day I paid attention.  And decided to START OVER.  I am so grateful for that show, and how it helped me, help myself.

I had decided to work on my self-confidence first, then my self-esteem.  To my surprise, as my confidence grew, so did my self-esteem! 

Now thanks to Rhonda Britten, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Choppa, Kevin Hogan and others.  I have a bag filled with wonderful tools that I can use when I find myself, falling back into bad habits.  I would like to share these tools with you.

That is why I’ve created the Confidence Study Group.

This won’t be like a typical study group, where everyone gets together to discuss a book.  This club will provide proven tips, tools and tactics to build confidence and self-esteem.

Are You Willing To Follow A Study Group To Build Confidence?

If you want to learn more, go to www.theconfidencestudygroup.com

Together we will grow, and support each other through our confidence-building journey.

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