The Confidence Blog

I was walking my dog the other morning, and I was in deep thought.  I had been recently hurt by a good friend and was struggling letting go of the hurt.  While I was walking, my dog gave a small bark, and I noticed standing on the other side of the street were two dear.  I was surprised, because usually you don’t see deer at 9:30 in the morning.

As I stood gazing at them, and they stood watching me, I felt they were communicating with me and a sense of wonder filled me. I started to walk away, and I turned around to watch them gracefully fade away. 

As I watched them trot gracefully away, I noticed how effortlessly they took turns taking the lead.  There was no controlling, competition, or arguing. 

Another thing I observed, they were a pair.  It made me think, how companionship, friendship and support are really important.

I continued on my walk and started to feel an overwhelming feeling of compassion.  Tears started to stream down my face, and as I continued to walk, I was overwhelmed with love. 

I ponder the deer, because I knew they were a catalyst. And I asked myself the following questions: Why did the deer bring up this feeling of love and compassion?  What do deer represent to me?

For me, deer represent grace and beauty, and then I knew, innocent.  As I watched them, I felt their innocence.

At that moment, I realized we are all innocent, and we all deserve compassion.

As I continued my walk, I allowed my hurt and disappointment to melt away and be replaced with compassion. With each step I started to feel good about who I am.

I read once, that we can find answers in nature.  And I did. 

I am so appreciative of tapping into something higher then myself that morning.  For when I felt the tears and the overwhelming love, I knew it was coming from a loving source.

When we hold on to hurt, disappointment, and blame, there is no room for love, understanding and forgiveness.

Start making room today!

Diana.

Tweet This Post

This morning I looked in my sock draw for a pair of socks that would match my outfit, and found a pair of dark green/gray socks.

When I got outside I noticed that my socks were not green/gray, but chocolate brown!  I was stunned, and guessed it was probably the lighting in my bedroom.  So I decided when I got to my destination, I would take my socks off because they didn’t match what I was wearing.

When I went to take my socks off, I saw they were no longer brown, nor green/gray, but an olive green.  No I do not own a pair of chameleon socks! My best guest was the overhead lights were filtering out the color red which made my socks brown. 

And that got me thinking on how we use filters on people and on ourselves.  Our filters are like the color spectrum, we can color our experiences, with prejudices, and judgments from past experiences, family culture, etc.

So I ask you, what filters are preventing you from having high confidence and self-esteem?

Do you have a filter of self-doubt?
Do you have a filter of not good enough?
Do you have a filter of having to be right?
Do you have a filter of expectations?

How can these filters affect your confidence and self esteem?

Let’s say you are overworked, and want to ask your boss to hire additional help.  BUT, you lack the confidence to ask.

Your filters might be…
1. You doubt yourself in your ability to convince your boss why extra help is needed.
2. You don’t want your boss to think you aren’t good enough because you can’t do the work by yourself
3. You are convinced hiring extra help is the only solution and can’t see any other way.
4. You expect your manager to say no.  So why bother?

How can you remove these filters and let all of your confidence and self-esteem soar!

First – recognize your filters.  Become aware of what you say to yourself.  Become aware of your attitude, and feelings.

Second – decide to change it.  Make a commitment to remove your filters.

Third – Find resources to help you. Read books, join groups, find tools that work for you, get a coach, or a mentor.
Fourth – act on your commitment.  Implement and Practice.  Implement –DO IT.   And Practice, Practice, Practice.  You are not going to remove years of behavior in one day.  It takes 21 days to change a habit, and rewire your brain.  Remember – practice does make perfect, only if you put it into practice.

Fifth – be kind to yourself, and accept that you are in the perfect place right now!

What will happen when you remove your filters? 

Self doubt becomes self assurance
Not good enough becomes loving and accepting you.
Having to be right becomes opening to possibilities.
Expectations become living in the moment.

Most importantly, your self esteem and self confidence will begin to grow! 

Remember, holding on to these filters, stops your true self from shining through. 

I encourage you to let all your colors shine!

To Your Success!

Diana

Tweet This Post