The Confidence Blog

Hello Everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful summer! Summer, for me, is the season of fun, with the longer days, and warmer weather. It’s a time to visit, travel and just enjoy yourself. Even the daily traffic is less.

This weekend we change into a new season, Fall. This is my favorite season. Where I live, here in the East, Fall means the promise of colorful foliage, sunny days and crisp nights. Even though the weather isn’t co-operating right now, with the high 80’s summer like temperatures, I know it will come.

It doesn’t matter where you live to experience the season changes. Even if you live in a climate that’s the same all year round, you can still notice the season change. You can notice it by the holidays we celebrate, the children going back to school, or even the increase in traffic.

What else can a season change give us besides changed weather patterns?

It can give us a new perspective. When a season comes to an end I always reflect on the last 3 months and ask myself “What changes did I make towards my goal of increased confidence?” “What behaviors didn’t I change?” “What am I willing to change?”

As the trees drop their leaves, you too can drop your old habits, and beliefs. Answer the question “What am I willing to change?” and take these next three months to do it. A long time ago someone told me it takes 21 consecutive days to change a habit, and 3 months to get rid of it completely. Here’s your opportunity to take advantage of this changing season by changing a habit.

The great thing is that we don’t have to change everything about ourselves all at once. Take the elephant approach. How do you eat an elephant? You eat an elephant, one bite at a time. How do you change yourself? You change one habit at a time. It can be a huge habit, or a tiny one. Just as long as it moves you forward on your path to increased self-confidence.

Happy Fall!
diana

A few years ago I started building my confidence, and applying The Secret, and wasn’t even aware that I was doing it!

Looking back, I see that I had an instinct on how to get the confidence I needed to accomplish one of my dreams.

Through the years I’ve learned how to perfect it. Now it has become natural for me to tap into my confidence muscle at will.

Does that mean I don’t EVER get nervous, anxious, or sometimes overwhelmed? No it doesn’t, but now I know how to change it and get what I want.

A few years back I went to Egypt and Israel. At the time it was highly suggested that a trip like that was impossible and not safe. Everyone I talked to said, “I was crazy and shouldn’t go”. My mom called me every day to inform me of the newest “tragic event” that was happening in the Middle East. Even my doctor, while giving me my required shots, gave me a lecture after each painful stabbing.

BUT no matter what anyone said… I WENT.

How did I do that, even though I was a single mom, just making enough money to support all 3 of us?

First – I decided what I wanted, and had a passion for going to Egypt.

Second – I put a picture of Egypt on my refrigerator. Now I understand that I was asking the universe for what I wanted.

Third – My friend Linda, who was going with me, and I researched the safest, and cheapest way to go. We also researched all the other details required to go to Egypt and Israel. When we went on our trip - we were prepared.

Fourth – when my family and friends nagged, I would smile, thank them for their concern and then tune them out. This was easy, being a mother of 2 preteens; I had practice tuning out unnecessary noise.

Fifth - Every task I did for the trip, I would envision myself there. When I got my picture for my passport, I saw myself in front of a pyramid. When I got my passport, I saw them stamping it at the border. When I got my plane ticket I saw myself sitting in the plane flying toward Egypt.

Not once did I ever doubt that I could pay for it. I started putting $15 a week aside. I cut out the extras to pay for my trip. The government changed the tax laws that year and I received an extra $1000 in my tax refund. I now had more than enough money for my trip. The universe had provided.

I went for 2 weeks. It was the first time I had been out of the country and been away that long without my children.

What happened? I HAD A BLAST! All these years later, I still remember the special times I’ve experienced in Egypt and Israel.

Now when I watch a show on Egypt or Israel I say “I was there!”

I say this was the beginning of my confidence building, because prior to that my life was all about pleasing others, not taking risk and life’s small details. I found the confidence I needed to leave the country, and to do what I’ve always wanted, in spite of all the negative energy coming my way.

The amazing thing is, I was always painfully shy, and couldn’t make a decision. When I was in Egypt, I was confident. I was so excited that any fears I had disappeared. In fact my friend keep saying, “Who are you?”

I brought that confidence back with me. After that my shyness started to become less and less, because I would remember me confidently talking to strangers. When a task came about, which I wouldn’t have confidence, I would remember going into the tombs (I was extremely claustrophobic) and said, “If I could do that I can do anything!”

Does that mean you have to go out of the country or go on an extreme trip? It would be fun, but no.

Do you know what you want? Identify what you want, be specific.
How will you know you have it? Have a way to measure your success.
Are you taking 100% responsibility for why you don’t have it now? Stop blaming others.

Example:
I knew what I wanted – and I had the passion for it. Going to Egypt.
I knew when I would have it. It was when I landed at the Cairo airport.
I took 100% responsibility for me not going before this. I stopped blaming other.

I could have blamed my parents for making me feel insecure, or my ex-husband for leaving me with 2 children to raise, or my boss for not paying me the salary I thought I deserved. The list can go on and on. Instead I accepted that my life was the way it was because of me. I also knew I was ready to change my life, and experience the joy, which always seem to be just out of reach

Are you ready to start building your self-confidence and self-esteem? Great! A journey begins with the first step. Take that first step and identify what you want. Identify a way to measure your success. And most importantly, take 100% responsibility. Once you have completed this, you can then start learning some other techniques to continue your journey on building your confidence and self-esteem.

To your confident life!

1. Learn to be more aware of your reactions. See, hear and feel what your body and mind are telling you.

2. Clarify what self-confidence means to you. How will you know when you have self-confidence?

3. Think about someone who is confident. Act, talk and walk like them. Model their behavior until it becomes your own.

4. Learn from your past. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You can’t change it, so learn from it.

5. Learn to pay attention to the internal chatter that goes on in your head. Is it negative or positive self-talk?

6. Whenever you hear a negative thought, STOP and immediately change it to a positive thought.

7. Be prepared for whatever challenges you are going to have to face.

8. Don’t let others words lower your confidence. It’s not important what they think, because they have their own issue/agenda. What’s important is what you think and what is good for you.

9. Every day write down your achievements and successes you had throughout the day.

10. When you wake up in the morning, be grateful for what you have. This will start your day in a positive way.